1. My story and why I wrote this
As a child, I was terrified of monsters under the bed. Those unseen shapes in the dark felt real, until someone switched on the light. Years later, I realized that fear and stress are much the same. When left in the dark, they grow; when brought into the light of awareness, they shrink.
My journey through decades as a teacher, healer, and executive coach taught me that stress isn’t something to eliminate. It’s something to understand. My own battles with burnout and depression showed me how easily life can feel overwhelming when stress takes control. I’ve learned that the real power lies in how I choose to respond. With awareness and practical tools, I can train my stress monster rather than letting it rule me.
2. Getting to know my monster
I’ve come to see stress as part of my biological design. My brain still reacts as if I’m a caveman facing danger, flooding me with hormones meant to help me fight, flee, or freeze. The problem is that in the modern world, those hormones have nowhere to go. They stay trapped in my body, creating exhaustion and tension.
When I don’t move, stretch, or breathe properly, my body holds on to that chemistry. So, I’ve learned to walk, stretch, and release energy regularly. I’ve also realized that not all stress is harmful. “Eustress”, or positive stress, helps me grow. It’s the excitement of taking on something meaningful. What makes the difference is how I label what I feel. The same rapid heartbeat can be fear or anticipation depending on my mindset.
3. Becoming aware of what stress feels like for me
Awareness is my turning point. When I ignore what my body whispers, it eventually shouts through pain, fatigue, or anxiety. So I’ve made it a daily habit to pause and check in: Where am I tense? What’s my breathing like? What emotion sits just below the surface?
This awareness isn’t always comfortable, but it’s freeing. I’ve discovered that every ache, thought, or mood carries a message. By observing instead of judging, I can see patterns in how I handle pressure. I ask myself tough but important questions: What beliefs keep me stuck? What am I afraid of letting go? And what small change could help me feel more at ease today?
Awareness gives me choice. It’s how I take my power back from the monster.
4. Befriending my monster
I used to fight my stress, but now I treat it like an old, sometimes annoying friend. Fighting takes too much energy. Understanding works better. I’ve even given my monster a name and a face; when I picture it, it becomes smaller, almost comical. Seeing it clearly helps me see that it’s trying to protect me, even if it sometimes overreacts.
Balance is also key. When one part of my life, work, family, health, grows too large, it turns monstrous. I’ve learned to schedule time for everything that matters and to say “no” to what doesn’t. By keeping track of these areas, I trim back the overgrowth and give other parts of life space to bloom.
5. Training my monster
Once I stopped fearing stress, I could start training it. I’ve learned to recognise what triggers me, tone of voice, deadlines, clutter, conflict, and prepare for those moments. I remind myself that every trigger is a message, not a trap.
A few practical tools help me keep balance:
– Clear communication. I ask, clarify, and listen instead of assuming. Words can easily twist into misunderstanding, so I double‑check meaning before reacting.
– Breathing and hydration. My breath is the quickest way to calm my system. When I breathe deeply and drink enough water, I literally feed my brain oxygen.
– Good food and rest. Sleep and nourishment are my reset buttons. They allow my mind to file, repair, and restore energy.
– Movement. Crossing my body’s midline, through stretches, walks, or dance, keeps both brain hemispheres talking. I think more clearly when I move.
– Mindset and thought awareness. I remind myself that one negative thought can outweigh five positive ones. So I consciously balance my inner dialogue by adding gratitude, humor, and self‑kindness.
6. From reaction to creation
Stress used to make me reactive; now I see it as creative fuel. I ask myself better questions:
– What am I saying yes to?
– What can I let go of?
– How does this align with my purpose and values?
These questions keep me grounded when life changes. I know my choices ripple outward. When I grow, it affects everyone around me. My stress monster still shows up, but I lead the dance now. When I act from clarity and self‑respect, it follows my rhythm instead of running wild.
7. What else is possible?
Today I view stress as a companion, not a curse. My mindset decides whether I stay trapped in fear or grow through challenge. Training my monster is an ongoing relationship, sometimes playful, sometimes humbling, always instructive.
When I approach it with humor and curiosity, life feels lighter. After all, what’s the point of taming a monster if I can’t have some fun with it? By shining light on my fears, nurturing my body, and asking honest questions, I’ve discovered that the monster I feared most was only my own untapped strength waiting to be acknowledged.